***Thanks go to SnowDrif for sending me this article***
Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
In some Swanson frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(*Just* a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of the box)Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!) (I love it: food to piss you off)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Why Not? Wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate heavy machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off the roads.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space? Or underground?)
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On a Chinese set of knives:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Do you think this is actually a problem in China?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(DUH)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(What?!)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, ruin a universal childhood fantasy!)
***Thanks go to SnowDrif for sending me this article***
